...REVIEWS !!        

THE REAL LOSERS
"Music For Funsters"

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EQUALIZING DISTORT (CAN) 2005 D-U-M-B! Everyone’s accusing me! Okay, I didn’t immediately understand this record. I had the pleasure of seeing the REAL LOSERS live awhile back and “got it” then, but something about this album went over my head. I know, I must be fuckin` retarded. What is there to get? Well, thankfully I held on to this disc and kept it on my “go back and listen to it” pile. Upon further listen, these troglodytes pounded my skull in with their fuzz-drenched, knuckle-draggin punk rock and roll. Their signature “Hot Dog” beat does not relent, hypnotizing the listener into a stupified state of punk bliss. Better than sniffin` glue. My eyes are still glazed over and it hurts to think.(MR)

THE BLACK TIME (UK) 2005 : No BBQ yet, but when I first met the REAL LOSERS they showed me their party trick, which was C-Shake dropping his trousers (sorry, that's 'pants' to you guys) and Hot Dog shoving a beer bottle up his arse (sorry, ass). I was all downhill from there... The REAL LOSERS are basically the greatest rocknroll band in the world right now - they just get better and better. I'm just some schmuck (hey, I'm picking up the lingo now) who works in an office and messes around with my little punk rock project when I'm not gettimg wasted, but the REAL LOSERS are THEE real deal.(LC)

SAVAGE (SWEDEN) AUG 2005 Oh, best record I’ve heard in a while.. Great follow up and maybe an even better record than their debut! Not as much Teengenerate-souding but yet with that primitive, patented Real Losers sound. A tiny bit more fidelity and some great songwriting makes this one helluva record and definitely takes the prize for best record of the summer. I’m sure this will be on my top ten at the years end (TH)

BATARANG! (BELGIUM) JULY 2005 Whooaaaaaa!!!! Talking about a party album!! After their raw-assed blasting debut album on Squirrel Records, 'Music For Funster' is another noisy punk rock 'n roll attack that'll make you swing the curtains & go completely berserk! Adrenaline-driven & way over the top, this is the kind of record that makes my day! If you don't get a kick out of this, uhm... well, I suppose you better keep on comparing the latest range of megapixel camera cellphones...(Luke)

TERMINAL BOREDOM (USA) APRIL 2005 I liked the Losers' first LP quite a bit, but this, their sophomore effort, just ups the ante by a re-fucking-cockulous degree. All of the trademark hyperactictive- teenagers-off-their-ritalin-and-on-too-much-booze energy they're known for can be found here in abundance, but they've added on heaps of melody and gobs of hooks, making this a cant miss concoction for any summer time parties you might be thinking about crashing. Hit singles? You're kidding me right? This whole album is fucking top of the pops from start to finish. One question remains however: just what exactly is a "funster." I'll have to corroborate this with the band, but my guess is that it involves getting yourself three sheets to the wind on Sparks at the aforementioned party, listening to the first Ivy Green album way too loud while some girl you just met sits on your lap, somehow deciding that dancing naked is a good idea, and in mid-depantsing some goofball kicking you ass first down a flight of stairs. Laying there in a drunken heap at the bottom of the stairs, your pants around your ankles and the strains of someone fucking to Teengenerage in the bedroom above you mixing with the sound of a bunch of people singing along to Protex in the basement you havejust landed in, you realize you have to be up for work in three hours. Naturally, you get up, slide out of your pants, walk up the stairs, get another sparks, and invite the girl to come "take a load off" on your lap. If you've ever had a night like that, or even if you want to, I think you just might be a funster, and as such this is the perfect record for you.(SB)

NOW WAVE MAGAZINE (USA) June 2005 The REAL LOSERS' second LP is undoubtedly the most appropriately-titled rock recording since the 1995 release of Michael Jackson's Cum On Feel The Boys 7". Every time I hear it, Music For Funsters takes me back a few years. I remember myself at the wheel of my crappy old Ford Tempo, the infectious lo-fi punk of Supercharger and TEENGENERATE blaring from the boombox seated on the passenger's side floor, yours truly speeding home in anticipation of licking pussy while listening to the Registrators. Now, as then, nothing beats super-catchy rock n' roll of the trashy variety. And England's REAL LOSERS are perhaps today's premier practitioners of that particular sound.Under no circumstances can I foresee a reasonable human being with even an iota of musical taste not liking the REAL LOSERS. If you told me you hated this band, I would have no choice but to surmise that you're the kind of person who eats dogs, sleeps with midgets, and poisons children's candy at Halloween. REAL LOSERS haters are the sorts of guys who like to pee on their girlfriends and boo Special Olympians. You can usually find them at home fiddling with their stereos' graphic equalizers.Like all the great garage/punk/rock n' roll longplayers, Music For Funsters radiates such unfettered adolescent enthusiasm and primitive ferocity that it seems like it could have been banged out in the basement by a bunch of wild-hearted teenagers who just learned to play yesterday. But like all the great garage/punk/rock n' roll longplayers, it complements such gloriously pubescent racket with irresistible tunefulness, inspired vocalizing, and deceptively formidable musical chops. You might hear this record and think you could start a band just as good. I wouldn't recommend it, old sport. Retarded two-chord trash of this high a caliber requires a special kind of genius. "Tear Me Apart" is in serious running for 2005 song-of-the-year honors! Music For Funsters was supposed to be the REAL LOSERS' "power pop" album. But while the songs here are indeed catchier than the clap, this ain't powerpop, brother. No no no no no no no no. This is exhilarating, supercharged rock n' roll: pure teenage punk in its rawest, coolest form. Turd-o-phonic production prevails. Dirty, fuzzed-out guitar flies off at a million miles an hour but somehow manages to hold onto its melodic quality. A ramshackle rhythm section keeps up just fine, exuding a crude, careening brilliance. Lead shouter C. Shake hollers with a right-on mix of crazykid oomph and goodtime 'tude. And the material is hot! Tunes like "Boy In A Chinese Shop" and the booty-shakin' opener "Look Real Sharp" achieve a simplistic greatness, while the group's extra-peppy cover of Devo's "Mongoloid" is just flat-out awesome. Yeah.Like the Japanese bands they emulate, the REAL LOSERS work under the influence of early Ramones albums and good ole' American rock n' roll, those primary ingredients spat back out with breakneck savagery and a complete disregard for the fine art of sound quality. Music for Funsters is an album to fuck to, an album to crank in your car when you're out driving with friends, an album to play real loud while you're alone in your room and feel like pissing off your house mates. Merry old England, once fertile ground for great punk rock, hasn't managed to produce a whole lot of decent rock n' roll in recent decades. Single-handedly, the REAL LOSERS have atoned for the sins of their countrymen. My only criticism:Let the drummer sing more backups!(Vinyl on ALIEN SNATCH! , CD on Trick Knee (JR)

NOW WAVE MAGAZINE (USA) June 2005 England's best band is at it again. The REAL LOSERS manage to avoid the sophomore slump. Their first LP, Time to Lose, was a cool, trashy record. But this is so much better. The production is still as raw but is much more crisp, and the songwriting has improved a lot. The REAL LOSERS are one of the few bands out there today that understand what rock n' roll is all about: F-U-N!!!! They don't fuck around with trying to look smart or trying to be ace musicians. They know the best rock n' roll is fun, loose, and wild. The thing that makes the REAL LOSERS so great is that they can actually play. Shake throws in really cool Ron Asheton-like basslines, and the Hand is like an inept James Williamson on PCP (that's a compliment). The REAL LOSERS' secret weapon is Hot Dog. Her inepto drum bashing is on par with Moe Tucker of the Velvet Underground and Karin from Supercharger. I mean, she can't really play drums, but she pounds away like a crazed cavewoman beatin' on a log, and it works. I can't imagine the REAL LOSERS being as cool if they had a real drummer who played "actual" drum parts. Fuck that! You gotta love her backup vocals too. Like I said before, the songwriting is better by leaps and bounds. Listen to "Look Real Sharp", and you know yer listening to some top notch rock n' roll. The same TEENGENERATE meets Stooges raw edge is still there; it's just that this time around, there are more hooks. I dare you to play "Brainwash City Again" and "Just Too Late" and not want to play them again and again.A friend of mine saw the cover of this and said, "Wow, this looks cliche". I wasn't surprised he said that; he is a musician type...he takes his musicianship seriously. He practices his scales, he reads books on how to learn to play better. In other words, he's a music snob. You know what? He's right...the REAL LOSERS are cliche, and Ilove them for it. You will too.(TT)

BMO´S WORLD (US) JUNE 2005 The REAL LOSERS are a stoopid band, and “Music for Funsters” is a sooper stoopid record. Which ought to be enough of a reason for you to immediately redirect your internet browser to www.aliensnatch.com to purchase the vinyl lp, or to fire an email to Troy Trickknee at trickknee@hotmail.com to purchase the cd. If not, well let me just start by telling you…..Hold on a second. I had this whole review written in my head, and was all ready to sit down and type it up, when I saw Josh Rutledge’s review over at Now Wave Magazine. How am I gonna compete with that guy? He’s the best there is at reviewing this kind of record. So, forget it. I’m not gonna write a review. Alright, you talked me into it. Just promise me that, after you read this, you’ll bounce over to www.geocities.com/nowwave to read Rutledge’s superior effort. Now, where was I….oh, yeah, ….let me just start by telling you that you won’t hear a more fun mixture of Buzzcocks/Undertones melodic sensibility combined with Stooges grooves and super lo-fi production anywhere this side of 1978. The REAL LOSERS apparently planned for this to be their powerpop record. That’s just plain silly. There are catchy melodies here, to be sure (Rutledge says it’s catchier than the clap….how cool is that?), and there’s plenty of raw power, but it’s anything but pop. This is punk rawk, emphasis on the “raw”, and you’re gonna love every stoopid second of it. Wanna Pop-A-Doodle, tonight? These guys will show you how. Wanna Look Real Sharp? Again, REAL LOSERS can show you the way. Think you’d like to listen to Rocket Radio, or live in an Endless Summer, or visit Brainwash City Again…maybe pick up some Teenage Treatz from a Boy In A Chinese Shop? Then you need to get “Music For Funsters”.(Brian "bmo" Mosher)

SOUNDFLAT(GERMANY) MAY 2005 UK's one & only REAL LOSERS are back with their second album! While the first was, allthough with a pretty bad sound, an absolute scorcher, this one is even better! The sound is sharp as a Solingen knife (ha), the songs are right in your face without being hectic brutal shit! This is what punkrock is all about: short songs, simple, snotty vocals all performed by this 3 piece of fun. Can be a classic like THE SAINTS first album. This guitar is awesome. Bashing 3 chords and a singer that is just simply mad! I can see YOU exactly when you turn volume on 10 right after you put the plastic on yer stereo! Sitting there with open mouth and shaking shaking.. shaking! And listening to their version of "mongolid", originally performed by DEVO! A feast of trash it is!!!!! Perfect. The wax is on heavy 220g vinyl and the artwork is an eye-catcher. Comes also with insert incl. The REAL LOSERS Bumper Jerk Search!

GERMAN

FLYING REVOLVERBLATT (GER) AUG 2006 Ok Punkrock Looser! Eine Platte für euch! Extrem überdrehter, klirrender, primitiver Teen Trash Punk´n´Roll kommt hier aus England. Prinzipiell erinnert das an die Teengenerate, mit eigentlich eingängigen Riffs vom Schlage der Saints, die dann aber so energiereich und dreckig gespielt werden, dass eigentlich pro Song drei Saiten reißen müssten, was wahrscheinlich auch passiert, den selbsternannten Trotteln von den Real Loosers vermutlich aber egal ist. Kompromisslos wird weiter gedroschen – was nicht nur dann an die Retards denken lässt. Schließlich skandieren die Losers auch „Let´s Get Stoopid“- zuviel Hirn ist schließlich nur hinderlich für verstörten R&R. Ohnehin zählt nur: We don´t care. Fuck You! Da passt es doch dass Devos Mongoloid gecovert wird! Sehr coole LoFi Punk Rock Platte in einer Reihe mit Supercharger, Teengerate, Loli & The Chones und den Hot Pockets! (cc)

INCOGNITO (GERMANY) MAY 2005 Da das Debüt Album der REAL LOSERS in Punkto rohem primitiven Punk Trash nicht mal von ihnen selbst übertroffen werden kann, war ihr Konzept für "Music For Funsters" ein Powerpop Album vorzulegen - wer ihre bisherigen Sachen kennt, kann sich aber vorstellen, daß es auch auf "Music For Funsters" ordentlich kracht, wenn auch eine ganze Spur Song-orientierter als bisher. Ohrwürmer wie "Brainwash City Again","Tear Me Apart" oder "Teenage Treatz" sind mit reichlich LoFi Trash überzogen und erinnern somit am ehesten an die besten Zeiten von SUPERCHARGER oder den RIP OFFS, und so geht das eigentlich vom ersten bis zum 15ten Song - einfach gehaltener ursolider melodischer LoFi Punk, der bis auf das extra für sie von PEEPIN' JOHN von den FLAKES geschriebene "Birdbrain S.O.T.", sowie "Mongoloid" von DEVO, von den REAL LOSERS selbst "komponiert" wurde. Sehr schönes Artwork mit grellbunten Photos welche die Band einmal mit ihren Instrumenten bewaffnet, und auf der Rückseite mit überdimensionalem Fastfood zeigt. Kommt auf 180g Vinyl, dazu Textblatt mit Malwettbewerb.

 

FRENCH

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ITALIAN

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SPANISH

THIS IS A ROCKNROLL ZINE (SPAIN) MAY 2005 Los Real Losers... mantengo una relación de amor odio con este grupo por ese disco tan regular que era el primero. Era así, un temazo, otro temazo, una petardada... y así todo el rato. Me duele cuando veo que un grupo es capaz de hacer cancionazas pero también mete canciones malas. Pero bueno... eso se solucionó con los siguientes 7"s que sacaron, son la hostia y ahora vuelven a la carga con un pedazo de LP. "Music for Funsters" ha recogido todo lo bueno que tenía el grupo y quitar todo lo malo. Esto se traduce en un cruce entre Teengenerate y algún grupo de punk un poco más pop en plan 77, es increíble y la producción la mejor que escucho para un grupo de garage punk desde el disco de los Kidnappers.. en serio, es brutal. No me imagino este disco con una producción mejor para él. Y luego también hay que hablar de la portada... a pesar de ser simple se ha convertido en uno de mis portadas favoritas, ¡me encanta! Lo que es el disco en sí me gustan todas las canciones pero pienso que podría ser incluso un poco mejor (que ya es difícil) si no tuviese esa versión del "Mongoloid" de Devo. Que sí, que la versión está muy bien pero no pega demasiado, pienso que quedaría en la cara B de un EP.. ahí si quedaría muy bien. Quitando ese detalle todo lo demás genial, me gustan todas las canciones. El mejor disco que sale de garage punk desde los de los Manikins y el de los Kidnappers. Me ha encantado.